Empty Nesting

This time of year can be extremely challenging for many parents. Children across our nation are packing their books and bags and preparing to leave home, some for the first time, some for the last. Whether they are going to kindergarten or the university, it is an emotional time for Mom and Dad. A six year old heading to the school yard reminds the parents how quickly their little is growing up. From birth to bottles to backyard to school yard, it all occurs in what seems like a moment of time. You turn around twice, and off they go into the big world to face life an a young adult, beginning their training for their future life endeavor.

For those who are watching their children become adults, there are three stages you will probably experience. We all respond to life changes differently, but you will most likely go through these.

1. Tears: This emotional stage comes from the loss you are experiencing. Your baby is leaving home, and probably not very remorseful about it. He/she is looking forward to a greater freedom, more responsibility, and the opportunity to become their own person. As a parent, this has been your goal for around eighteen years. The reality of that time's arrival feels very different. Go ahead and let out the tears. It is OK and normal. Just not try to undermine the process. That would become counter productive and unhealthy. Be as happy for them as you can. Give up control and just continue to influence them for the good.

2. Fears: This stage is because of your concern for the safety and well being of your child who is now a young adult. No longer can you shield and protect him/her in the security and safety of your home and the rules you provided while living under your roof. Your fears are legitimate. There are pitfalls out there. There are dangers from unscrupulous people, poor decisions, and reckless actions. Regardless, you have invested many years into their character. Trust the training you have provided and the God who cares for them more than you do. The fact is, you cannot keep them from making mistakes any more than you probably made some as a young adult. Did God bring you through? Your desire to keep them from the painful results of life's problems is admirable, but unattainable. Practice what you preach and trust the Lord, and them. They just may amaze you with how well they do.

3. Cheers: This stage will come. There may be times that you will begin to enjoy those moments of quiet in the house. Running them to soccer or ball practice will be missed; right. Time with your spouse will become a possibility again. The fact is that you may need to become reacquainted with your spouse once again. If you did not protect your space with your spouse as the kids were growing up you may find a real opportunity to fall in love with each other once again. The best thing you can do for your children is to love their parent. You will also find opportunities to celebrate the successes of your son/daughter. Cheer them on to what they are wired to do in life. Resist the temptation to pressure them to become what you want them to be, and cheer them on toward God's plan for their future.

Empty nesting has its good points and bad points. As in everything in life, remember the word from the Apostle Paul, "In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." God will see you through and He will also see them through. Happy empty nesting!